A,B,C People

13Oct09

Part of the process of taking your life to a Fabulous level is to evaluate the people you spend your time with.  It has been said that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.  I am sure you have noticed from time to time that when you leave a certain friend, family member, or co-worker that you leave either feeling really positive or really negative and down.

One of the tools I have used from time to time in my journey is the process of categorizing the people I am spending time with into A,B, and C lists.  I list all the people who are taking my time whether it be by phone or in person.  I then evaluate each person and decide if they hold the values and qualities of which I am striving to attain in my life.  If they are then they get assigned to the A-List.  These are people I will give one-on-one time to and who I might even seek out to spend additional time with.  B-List people are positive enough but aren’t necessarily contributing to my life on a significant level.  The B-Listers are people I will see on occasion–every few months or who I will “group” with other A or B-Listers as well as with other tasks I might need to get done–exercise or errands etc.  C-Listers are people I have decided to move to the outer perimeter of my life, communicating less and less with them and only seeing them in group settings or a few times a year.  These people are typically “energy drainers” and bring me down versus lift me up.  These people can also be those whose lives or practices just don’t match up with what I want to create in my life.

Here’s an example of what I am talking about in action.  I have a close friend on the West Coast who when I lived there was definitely an A-List person, she was starting to become more of a B-List person and when I moved across country simply by the nature of distance she stayed at that level.  Needing to feel connected with a friend the other night I got her on the phone.  Whoa–I was blown away at how negative she was coming across in the first part of our conversation.  I was seeking ways I could get off the phone-fast!  Then the conversation shifted and it was better but while I was listening to her rant I was working to tune out what she was saying so I would not be as affected by the negative vibe, while making  a mental note that she now needs to be a C-List person.

This does not mean that I do not love her as a person and as a friend, it’s just that I am shifting who I am “being” therefore require a certain type of person to be in my space.  Over the years I have learned just how sensitive I am to negativity.  In general I think it’s safe to say most people prefer a positive person to a negative, but I have found it deeply effects me and I can hardly be around “doom and gloom” energy for long at all.

It is necessary to evaluate your circle of influence from time to time, especially as you are preparing to raise yourself to your next level of Fabulous.  Taking this practice to the next level you would want to look at your calendar and schedule time with your A-List people and look at who you might need to change plans with now that you have identified your A,B and C people.

I challenge you to take an inventory of the people in your world and begin to shift who you give your time to.  As you create space by shifting people from one level to another you create space for new fabulous people to enter your life who will support your new position on the path to fabulous.

Here’s to YOUR fabulous life!

Lesley



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