A,B,C People

13Oct09

Part of the process of taking your life to a Fabulous level is to evaluate the people you spend your time with.  It has been said that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.  I am sure you have noticed from time to time that when you leave a certain friend, family member, or co-worker that you leave either feeling really positive or really negative and down.

One of the tools I have used from time to time in my journey is the process of categorizing the people I am spending time with into A,B, and C lists.  I list all the people who are taking my time whether it be by phone or in person.  I then evaluate each person and decide if they hold the values and qualities of which I am striving to attain in my life.  If they are then they get assigned to the A-List.  These are people I will give one-on-one time to and who I might even seek out to spend additional time with.  B-List people are positive enough but aren’t necessarily contributing to my life on a significant level.  The B-Listers are people I will see on occasion–every few months or who I will “group” with other A or B-Listers as well as with other tasks I might need to get done–exercise or errands etc.  C-Listers are people I have decided to move to the outer perimeter of my life, communicating less and less with them and only seeing them in group settings or a few times a year.  These people are typically “energy drainers” and bring me down versus lift me up.  These people can also be those whose lives or practices just don’t match up with what I want to create in my life.

Here’s an example of what I am talking about in action.  I have a close friend on the West Coast who when I lived there was definitely an A-List person, she was starting to become more of a B-List person and when I moved across country simply by the nature of distance she stayed at that level.  Needing to feel connected with a friend the other night I got her on the phone.  Whoa–I was blown away at how negative she was coming across in the first part of our conversation.  I was seeking ways I could get off the phone-fast!  Then the conversation shifted and it was better but while I was listening to her rant I was working to tune out what she was saying so I would not be as affected by the negative vibe, while making  a mental note that she now needs to be a C-List person.

This does not mean that I do not love her as a person and as a friend, it’s just that I am shifting who I am “being” therefore require a certain type of person to be in my space.  Over the years I have learned just how sensitive I am to negativity.  In general I think it’s safe to say most people prefer a positive person to a negative, but I have found it deeply effects me and I can hardly be around “doom and gloom” energy for long at all.

It is necessary to evaluate your circle of influence from time to time, especially as you are preparing to raise yourself to your next level of Fabulous.  Taking this practice to the next level you would want to look at your calendar and schedule time with your A-List people and look at who you might need to change plans with now that you have identified your A,B and C people.

I challenge you to take an inventory of the people in your world and begin to shift who you give your time to.  As you create space by shifting people from one level to another you create space for new fabulous people to enter your life who will support your new position on the path to fabulous.

Here’s to YOUR fabulous life!

Lesley


Alright…so,I was evaluating my life against my own Fabulous Factor measuring stick with the launch of my website, http://www.onlyfabulousliving.com, last month.  I set out to create and live a 21 day program called Fast Track to Fabulous.  This was based on the premise that I already knew what to do but really just had not fully committed to doing it.  This is so frustrating and what keeps so many of us from truly living to our potential, would you agree?

I was thrilled and SO excited as I embarked on my journey, ready for a new depth of Fabulous tranformation.  Well, I hit a wall about 11 or 12 days into it.  I realize now the power this work has.  All kinds of “stuff” was “coming up” for me.  Sure, I had no problem revamping my makeup and hairstyle–easy.  But, all of a sudden I was having to take a hard look at my relationship and some of my own personal sabateurs.  In that process I shut down a bit on my 21 day process.  I dealt with the relationship–I no longer have a boyfriend.  This is ok because the relationship did not align with what I want for my life long term which is marriage.  Still sad, but I am free to continue my pursuit of fabulousness because I am no longer wondering about that relationship and if it fits or not.  Next….

I allowed myself to get a bit more caught up in the emotion of the relationship transition and it halted many of my Fabulous pursuits. So, I am back to the drawing board now.  I am picking up my 21 Day Fast Track Program and ready to really live it and am better prepared to coach my clients through it now that I have encountered some of my own road blocks.

Here’s to a Fresh Fabulous Start!

Lesley


Phew!  I just completed the task of transferring my blog posts from Blogger to my lovely new WordPress site.  Thanks for stopping by!  If you didn’t catch the post on the old site you’ll want to check out my website for the new ebook version of “Project Love Note” which began on my blog.  Next is a published book to help raise funds to fight Domestic Violece and Verbal Abuse.  Woo Hoo!

Stay tuned because as you know Only Fabulous Living officially launched on Sept. 22, 2009.  Lots has been in the works these last couple weeks and you will be updated in my eZine, coming out this week.  Be sure to hit the site and sign up for your Love Notes from Your Fairy Godmother. Just what every woman needs to give her spirit a boost each day.  Men, you might subscribe to learn more about the fun ways to encourage the special woman in your life.  Yes, we need (and deserve) to be encouraged EVERYday.

Cheers!

Lesley


Sept. 14, 2009 (blog post)

It’s exactly at times like these when the going gets tough and people begin resisting change, that you know things are about to get really, really good.

It’s the calm before the storm. You have new tools to cope, you have done a lot of healing, and you have a plan of action you are working to and now recommitted to. Things will get really, really good! Remember you are amazing and deserve the life of your dreams!

This project has been just as great for me and I thank you for allowing me to share and encourage you.

Here’s to the next level…
Lesley


9/14/2009 blog post

Hello my dear,

Ok, yes, I do recommend creating a little ceremony for yourself to move past the relationship. Remove all the photos or reminders of your ex in a ceremonious way. Play some uplifting music while you go through the stuff perhaps. Assemble it all in one area, put it in a box or bag and then decide what you feel you want to do with it. Burn it, shred it, keep it? Part of the ceremony can be saying a prayer over the stuff. Thanking God for your new life and freedom, that you are free to be healthy again.

Plan a celebration for the day your divorce is final as well. Gather some friends together, go out for dinner and just have fun or do a dinner party at home. But, make it a great day. I found I felt pretty emotionally drained right after my court appearance so took a big nap and then joined friends that evening. It was great!

Talk to you soon,
L


9/14/2009 blog post

Hey girl,

One of the struggles it seems is self love. A great exercise is to write yourself a love note. Write all the great things you have accomplished, all the wonderful qualities you possess and all the promise you see in yourself. Do this when you are in the place that you are in right now where you are struggling to feel encouraged. I have implemented this on more than one occasion over the years and I am sure I’ll use it as a tool the rest of my life.

Sign up for Love Notes from Your Fairy Godmother too so that you can get a daily boost of love.
It’s unfortunate that in the type of marriage you (we) were in that we really did not get true love. I have found that I have to of course still work on my own self love but I realize that if we can rely on ourselves for it versus expecting others (men in particular) to provide it we are in an even better place to enjoy life and eventually receive love from a worthy partner.

Love ya!
Lesley


9/14/2009 blog post

Some days you do just have to let it go. Take a nap, be alone, cry, stare at the wall, journal, whatever you need for your soul. Sometimes we can let ourselves off the hook by doing this too much, thinking that we need it for our recovery, our personal development, healing etc. Sometimes we do but other times that can be an excuse to escape. If you need to escape for a day or an hour then do it, be real with yourself about it but try to recognize when it might be a way of avoiding what really needs to be done to move your life forward. I am talking to myself as much as I am you in all this.

We both need to get back on track with laying out what we want to accomplish and sticking to that plan. We’ll discuss that in our call.

Love ya!
L